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The Myth of Independence in Relationships
There is a quiet belief that many people carry about relationships. It rarely gets said out loud, but it sits underneath a lot of our thinking. Strong people don’t need anyone. If you can stand on your own two feet, if you never depend on anyone, if you could walk away from any relationship without flinching – then you must be emotionally healthy. Right? As a therapist working with young adults, I hear versions of this idea almost every week. Clients will talk about how much
Drew Heath
The Myth of Independence in Relationships
There is a quiet belief that many people carry about relationships. It rarely gets said out loud, but it sits underneath a lot of our thinking. Strong people don’t need anyone. If you can stand on your own two feet, if you never depend on anyone, if you could walk away from any relationship without flinching – then you must be emotionally healthy. Right? As a therapist working with young adults, I hear versions of this idea almost every week. Clients will talk about how much
Using Journalling to Understand Relationship Patterns
Most people don’t struggle in relationships because they lack insight or good intentions. They struggle because the same situations keep triggering the same reactions, often before they’ve had time to think. Journalling can be one of the simplest ways to slow that process down and begin to see what’s actually happening. Not in a self-help, “write three gratitudes” way – but in a grounded, reflective way that helps you notice patterns you may otherwise miss. Why patterns matte
How to Make 2026 Your Best Year Yet - 5 Grounded Ways to Create Real Change
At the start of a new year, many people feel a familiar mix of hope and pressure. There is a quiet desire for things to improve, paired with a worry that nothing really will. Perhaps you have promised yourself change before, only to find the same patterns returning. The truth is, meaningful change rarely comes from motivation alone. It comes from clarity, consistency and a willingness to look honestly at how your life is currently working. If you want this year to be your bes
What 'Love Actually' Gets Right (and Wrong) About Love
I watched Love Actually again this Christmas Day. Like many people, it’s become part of the festive background noise - familiar, comforting, slightly indulgent. But this time, perhaps because of the work I do, it stirred up something more reflective. The film is openly sentimental. It tells us, repeatedly, that love is everywhere, that it arrives suddenly, that it is obvious when it comes, and that if you are brave enough to declare it, something meaningful will happen. For
Why Being Alone Feels So Hard for Some People - and How Therapy Can Help
Why being alone feels unbearable for some people Some people find time alone restorative. Others find it deeply uncomfortable, even frightening. This difference often shows up in therapy when clients talk about evenings on their own, quiet weekends, or the end of a relationship. What sounds like “free time” to one person can feel like emotional freefall to another. If you struggle to be alone, you may already know how intense it can feel. Anxiety rises quickly. Thoughts spira
Why Couples Keep Having the Same Argument (And How to Break the Cycle)
Many couples arrive in therapy saying some version of: “We love each other, but we keep having the same argument over and over.” Different details, same emotional exhaustion. Often, these arguments can be boiled down to one partner wanting more clarity, reassurance, or structure, and the other feeling trapped, controlled, or overwhelmed by that same request. The towel problem (and why it’s never about the towel) There’s a familiar cliché in relationships. One partner is simme
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